I have been having pain as we all know. The doctor said to take antibiotics and see if they help. They are not helping and I am getting worse along with the pain I am now puking my guts out! No I am not pregnant unless it is a tubal pregnancy because I had my tubes tied 4yrs ago. I have no idea what is wrong with me but I do know it isn't good.
Hopefully I can find a doctor that will treat me like a person instead of a drug seeking freak and FIX me instead of throwing meds at it like they are good at. I mean really would it hurt them to run a few tests and find out the problem instead of guessing? I really don't think it would. Yet another reason I wanted to be a nurse, to help people talk to the doctors. I can't even talk to them for myself. Who the hell do I think I am trying to help someone else? I don't want drugs in fact, that is the last thing I want. My body is messed up enough without adding chemicals that can do more harm than good. I really feel like someone stood me on my head and dumped salt in my lower girl parts and it is rotting away my insides. How in anyone's right mind can they expect me to deal with this for another 7 days? I have been throwing up off and on all week the pain in my stomach is killing me and my migraines are enough for me to just go to the hospital and refuse to leave until they fix me. I know when I get there though I will just say okay I will take your meds and see if they help when I want to scream until they find the problem!!! Why do I have to be such a people pleaser? I mean honestly I am actually a bitch but I try to make people happy as well. What is wrong with me? Maybe if I pass out and bump my head they will fix me and when I wake up it will all be over.
Who knows I may hit the jackpot and find a doctor who actually cares about the people they treat instead of the money. Life is to short to be in this much pain all the time and have no idea why! I really just want to be better, have energy and live my life WITH A CLEAR HEAD. Guess life isn't perfect and we get what we are dealt. That should not be how it is though and I firmly believe there are things that the doctors can do but they choose not to. They would rather get that extra from the drug companies with their paycheck. Ok I have ranted enough for now about my problems until I roll out of bed and it's all still here. Good night world!!!!!1
Friday, October 30, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Hmmmmm
I am ready for a change in my life. Not really sure what kind of change but a change none the less. I'm sick of being angry for no reason there has to be a reason I just can't find it. I have decided to hopefully get the job I have been wanting and quit school. BTW I am in college for nursing but the teachers are older than earth itself. I really hope I get this job and start on the road I want to go down soon. There is no way in hell I am staying in this shithole town I'm in for any longer than I have to. I am so sick of all the drama that comes with an everybody knows everybody town. Did you know that small towns are more prone to drug abuse for lack of anything to do? I found that out real quick and for some reason I keep finding myself back here. Hopefully and this is so not set in stone I will get out and stay out! Agenda get this job, get a place closer to this job, and start to live my life the way I want to! Cross your fingers for me I'm gonna need it!!!1
Finding me...
I think I am finally on the right path and finding myself. I am happy..go figure ME happy. I am in love with the best man in the world. There are times I want to rip his throat out and stomp on it but over all he is the bestest!! He is in so much pain everyday just to make our family work. I think the only thing that makes me even the least upset at the moment is where I live and my inability to have another baby. I really don't want to have to take all those pills and shots again if I don't have to. Talk about CRAZY BITCH, all those hormones make me psychotic...Mwhahahahah. My brother and his friends used to say I had a psychotic nerve. Damn teenagers!
Stormy was late to her Gymnastics because her grandmother was late getting here. I hate when people think my time is unimportant. On a good note: Stormy is doing great in her class and she really enjoys it. I will have to add pictures of her being a little monkey. It was adorable today, she has a partner in crime named Noah, she was leaving and I told her to say bye to him and she said "Bye Noah I love you". I thought I was going to die, it was the best thing in the world to hear her tell him she loved him. She is recognizing love and what it means, not just something you say when you walk out the door. Later we were at the doctor, sitting in the waiting room, when this little demon girl came up and started pounding on the window separating the rooms screaming at Storm. Stormy politely says "Your Mommy said you need to sit" then "You have to sit like me do"...that's my girl!
We are resuming homeschooling tomorrow since my week is finally at a end as far as errands. She is doing great at home and it makes me extremely happy that it is working out how I had hoped. I am starting her on worksheets tomorrow along with her words videos and computer program. She is still weak on colors but is very advanced on numbers I believe.
SATURDAY is Halloween! Storm decided she has to be a princess. I asked if it could be a zombie princess but all I got was a big fat "NO". I asked if maybe we should make her a vampire princess and again with the "NO". What is with kids now, I loved being all bloody and gory. I would take any normal costume and add face paint, fake blood, fangs, scars. Anything to make it more interesting. Bill wants to go as a California Raisin, he said it will be easy because all he needs in a trash bag and a hair dryer. Men are the crazy ones I promise! So I need to get on this costume making and quick I have like 2 days. I start back to school Saturday also so I have to have it finished by Friday evening.
Wish Me Luck!
SUNDAY I am going to see a friend of mine I haven't seen since I was 14 or 15. I think it will be pretty neat to see how we have changed over the years. It will be awesome to see how our kids interact. She and I were very close from 3rd grade till somewhere around 14. I am sure I will blog more about the visit. We are going to the Florence Mall to let the kiddies play on the carousel.
Oh and Tara I am so the insomniac crazy lady around here so shush!!! Yes it was my idea but I was going that way and need you to feel better so I have someone to pass out candy with!! I love you and hope you feel better.
Well that all for now folks! Got to go fold more laundry GO ME! I love being a home bitch =)
Stormy was late to her Gymnastics because her grandmother was late getting here. I hate when people think my time is unimportant. On a good note: Stormy is doing great in her class and she really enjoys it. I will have to add pictures of her being a little monkey. It was adorable today, she has a partner in crime named Noah, she was leaving and I told her to say bye to him and she said "Bye Noah I love you". I thought I was going to die, it was the best thing in the world to hear her tell him she loved him. She is recognizing love and what it means, not just something you say when you walk out the door. Later we were at the doctor, sitting in the waiting room, when this little demon girl came up and started pounding on the window separating the rooms screaming at Storm. Stormy politely says "Your Mommy said you need to sit" then "You have to sit like me do"...that's my girl!
We are resuming homeschooling tomorrow since my week is finally at a end as far as errands. She is doing great at home and it makes me extremely happy that it is working out how I had hoped. I am starting her on worksheets tomorrow along with her words videos and computer program. She is still weak on colors but is very advanced on numbers I believe.
SATURDAY is Halloween! Storm decided she has to be a princess. I asked if it could be a zombie princess but all I got was a big fat "NO". I asked if maybe we should make her a vampire princess and again with the "NO". What is with kids now, I loved being all bloody and gory. I would take any normal costume and add face paint, fake blood, fangs, scars. Anything to make it more interesting. Bill wants to go as a California Raisin, he said it will be easy because all he needs in a trash bag and a hair dryer. Men are the crazy ones I promise! So I need to get on this costume making and quick I have like 2 days. I start back to school Saturday also so I have to have it finished by Friday evening.
Wish Me Luck!
SUNDAY I am going to see a friend of mine I haven't seen since I was 14 or 15. I think it will be pretty neat to see how we have changed over the years. It will be awesome to see how our kids interact. She and I were very close from 3rd grade till somewhere around 14. I am sure I will blog more about the visit. We are going to the Florence Mall to let the kiddies play on the carousel.
Oh and Tara I am so the insomniac crazy lady around here so shush!!! Yes it was my idea but I was going that way and need you to feel better so I have someone to pass out candy with!! I love you and hope you feel better.
Well that all for now folks! Got to go fold more laundry GO ME! I love being a home bitch =)
That one time in........
I hate people really I do. Ya know when you have a conversation like all the time with someone and then out of the blue they just stop talking to you altogether? Yeah well that is where I am today and for some reason it is just hitting me that hey I miss those conversations. Now I am pissed cuz I got reason from this person that just stopped talking to me and is now avoiding me it seems as to why they stopped talking to me in the first place. I mean seriously pissy because this person could at least say hey your a bitch and I don't wanna talk to you or something dammit. Maybe just maybe this person is just avoiding to piss me off who knows I sure as hell don't? Ugh people!!!!!1
Daylight!
You are not the insomniac you just sleep during the day!....lol Yes I am the one who stays up till 11, 12 ,1 2, 3 and still needs sunlight you could care less.....lol If there were a world that existed only in the night I do believe we would both partake. I love the sun don't get me wrong I would just rather not deal with people and it seems that people sleep at night. Really though it doesn't matter what time of day it is you can usually find one of us to be awake. Yes I am sick but I am not dying and the doctor thing was your idea you were going anyway and if you weren't I would just stay home and deal like I always do instead of going to see some quack! Yes I probably do need antibiotics but I really don't care let it all rot and whither that's what age is right? Ok so here is my morning post I'm sure it will not be the last with Kristin's monster in law and my babies gymnastics I will either be grumpy or excited who knows what the day will bring? Have a great one and we shall see about mine!!!1
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Sleep
Sleeeeeeep! I just want sleep. It isn't super late but I have a very busy day ahead of me. My Tara is sick and I have to take her and my troll-in-law to the doctor after Stormers Gymnastics. This was supposed to be my week off...lol. I get a week off from school and now I am more overwhelmed than when I have class. My brain won't stop reeling and I miss my baby and wish he would get his ass home. I wish he didn't have such a time consuming job. I never get any time with him anymore. WORK WORK WORK...SCHOOL SCHOOL SCHOOL. He starts school in Dec so it is going to be tougher. My daughter gets hardly any time with him as it is. I know we will manage but its just tiresome to keep giving your all and feeling like your getting nothing. I think mother nature is knocking (again for the 3rd time this month)which is fucking with my crazy hormones. I wish I would just get pregnant already! Then I can hop back on the brat control regulating band wagon GO ME!!! So this is my I can't sleep post. There will be many more> I am the insomniac in the Crazy Lady group!
Blah!
I hate my stomach for real! If it isn't one thing it's another. I have recurring cysts and endometriosis and the docs for some reason think hey why not leave all the stuff in there and make her suffer. My tubes are tied I can't have anymore kids take the shit out already! Now out of the blue I get this really painful UTI and back to the doctors I go. Will it ever end? So on another note people really drive me nuts with their drama here, there and everywhere! Why do people feel compelled to tell me their whole life story and then want me to be stuck in the middle of their drama? I mean I don't care if you tell me your problems just don't put me in them cuz they are so not mine and I really do have my own I promise! See above if you don't believe me and those are just the problems that are on my mind right this min. Anyway I am just ranting about random shit right now but by all means read on to the next post! Oh wait I guess I am technically telling people my problems but the difference is that I am not putting anyone in the middle of my shit no names other than mine were mentioned!
October ugh!
Ok so seriously what is with the bad luck everyone is having this month? I have more headaches this month than I can count and it seems like everyone around me has also. I need to get a doctor to deal with all my stupid issues with body.The last doctor I saw told me he doesn't think I am Bi-Polar I have severe post partum depression and some form a ADHD who knew me hyper? Not even close I have to kick my own ass to get out of bed every day how could I be hyper? Here is my first post and that bitch who is blogging with me is my best friend ever =) I LOVE YOU HOOKA!!!!1
New Home?
Well my cousin Danielle well she kind of...sort of...well she linked me her blog and I discovered this wonderful BLOGSPOT! I have been blogging for years. Back in the day on AOL Journals and so on and so forth. I have been looking for a new blogging home and I THINK I FOUND IT!! (Thanks Danielle...kind of...sort of). Well I was blogging in a personal forum for around 4 years, and decided to hand it off to someone who had time to deal with the admin aspect of it. So here I am almost a year later starting from scratch.
I have come to the conclusion my husbands mother snorted toooo much coke in her groupie days! I had to take my husbands mother to the doctor today....oh so much fun! For no reason either...she can drive just so we are very clear on that subject. So I had to drag my daughter (4) out and make her sit in a damn car for hours. I finally went off and ran the rest of her errands on my own so I could get the hell home. I really hate that I feel like I have to help people. Bleh...people...lol. So I am off to do it again tomorrow. 2 days without seeing my husband because his mother is incompetent! Okies well this will be continued tomorrow I am sure. I'm going to go sleep off the anger...mwhahahahahahaha.
I have come to the conclusion my husbands mother snorted toooo much coke in her groupie days! I had to take my husbands mother to the doctor today....oh so much fun! For no reason either...she can drive just so we are very clear on that subject. So I had to drag my daughter (4) out and make her sit in a damn car for hours. I finally went off and ran the rest of her errands on my own so I could get the hell home. I really hate that I feel like I have to help people. Bleh...people...lol. So I am off to do it again tomorrow. 2 days without seeing my husband because his mother is incompetent! Okies well this will be continued tomorrow I am sure. I'm going to go sleep off the anger...mwhahahahahahaha.
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