You break my heart on a daily basis. You make me feel like the only reason you keep me around is because our daughter needs both parents. I know that if we weren't together she would suffer but I really don't think that it would be that bad if we were both happy. Your not happy with me. You do your best to break my heart more than you comfort me. I used feel loved and now all I feel is the burden I am to you. I hope whatever is wrong with me is fixed soon or it kills me soon because I cannot handle the pain you cause me I am already hurting so much =( My life and my soul feel empty without you. You have been my world for so long now that I can't imagine life without you in it. I feel my walls crashing down and I am crumbled at the thought of ever loosing you and then I realize I lost a long time ago. Your presence doesn't change the fact that you will never love me as much as you used to. You haven't looked at me that way in god only knows how long. You have no idea how much those little things you used to do for let me know how much you really loved me. I don't think that I have ever loved anyone as completely as I love you and I don't think I will ever love anyone the way that I love you. I guess what I am trying to say is that if you love me then show me better cuz I am lost and alone more than I feel loved and if you don't want me around please kick me while I'm already down it hurts less I promise. I can't take anymore lies from anyone right now I think that I will explode. Relationships are built on trust and everyone around me lies to me because they think it will save my felling when I know they are lies and they only hurt me worse. My OCD has nothing on the feeling I get when being lied to. That is a weakness in me that nobody knows I guess because people keep lieing to me. Either they don't know or they hurt me intentionally because the pain that is causes me to be lied to is physical and mental it hurts my heart more than anyone could ever explain and I feel the lies. I may not know what the truth is but the lies are like a weight that hurts my heart so bad that I could scream. You say you love it when I go back to writing you say that it makes me feel better and that you see a change in me. You need to read this and change soon or it may very well be the last thing you ever read from me. !!!!!1
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